Jerry: Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?

Rick: I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, Morty.

简体中文 ¶

杰瑞：等下，瑞克。你不会碰巧有什么能让这狗更聪明的科学发明吧？

瑞克：养狗的自的不就是为了有优越感吗，杰瑞。我要是你，就不会想做这事。走，莫蒂。

Season 1 Episode 10 Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind ¶

Rick (C-137): I’m the Rick! And so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me.

简体中文 ¶

瑞克（C-137）：我只是瑞克！在组成这个愚蠢的联盟以前，你们也是。你们想免受政府的迫害，于是你们自己变成了愚蠢的政府。所以我比这里的每一个瑞克都更像真正的瑞克。

Season 2 Episode 10 The Wedding Squanchers ¶

English ¶

Rick: Hi everybody I’m Rick. You know when I first met Bird Person he was… listen I’m not the nicest guy in the universe because I’m the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. Now I haven’t been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage, I couldn’t make it work and I could turn a black hole into a sun so at a certain point you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit? Not just some big lie we’re telling ourselves because we’re afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that’s exactly how we all die, alone. But, but here’s the thing Bird Person is my best friend and if he loves Tammy well then I love Tammy too. To friendship, to love and to my greatest adventure yet; opening myself up to others.

简体中文 ¶

瑞克：大家好。我叫瑞克。我第一次遇见鸟人的时候，他有点，呃…… 听着，我不是宇宙里的最好的人。因为我是最聪明的那个。与人为善是那些蠢货干的事，以比来弥补他们的愚蠢。我还没挑明了说，我到底多不相信婚姻。我无法维持我的婚姻，尽管我能把黑洞变回恒星。所以到了某一时刻我们必须扪心自问，这是个正确决定的几率有多渺茫。说不定这只是我们的自我欺骗，因为我们不想孤独终老。因为，这恰恰是我们死的方式，独自死亡。但，但是，正文来了，鸟人是我最好的朋友，如果他爱塔米，那我也爱她。致友谊，致爱情，致敬我至今最大的冒险，向他人敞开心扉。

Season 3 Episode 3 Pickle Rick ¶

English ¶

Dr. Wong: Rick, why did you lie to your daughter?

Pickle Rick: So I wouldn't have to come here.

Dr. Wong: Why didn't you want to come here?

Pickle Rick: Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it. And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow. I'm a pickle. When I feel like it. So...you asked.

Dr. Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk -to belittle my vocation- just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

简体中文 ¶

王医生：瑞克，你为什么对你女儿说谎？

腌黄瓜瑞克：这样我不用来这里。

王医生：你为什么不想来这里？

腌黄瓜瑞克：因为我瞧不起心理治疗，我是科学家。我生存的方式就是发明转化、创造和毁灭。世界上有什么我不喜欢我就去改变。我不认为到商业区的租用办公室，听某些海损代理人解释什么词表示什么感受，能帮助任何人完成任何事。虽然帮助过很多人获得舒心，不再恐慌，被我们吃掉的动物，有这种心态的确不错，但我自己不稀罕。我不是奶牛。我喜欢的时候，我就是腌黄瓜。这是你自己问的。

王医生：瑞克，你毫无疑问的高智商与毁灭家庭的疾病间唯一的联系，是你们家所有人，包括你，用智力为疾病辩解。你似乎有时将头脑看作是无法阻挡的武器，有时又是逃脱不了的诅咒。我想你拒人于千里之外的真正原因，是你的头脑在你的掌控中。你选择来这里，你选择谈话来贬低我的职业，就和你选择变成酸黄瓜一样。虽说你是宇宙的主人，但你却流出老鼠的血液和粪便。你亲手造就了自己聪明绝顶的头脑。我毫不怀疑心理治疗会让你无聊透顶，和我刷牙擦屁股时的无聊透顶一样。因为修复、维持和清洁的本质并不是冒险。这些事做错了你也不会死。这些只是工作。总之，有些人愿意工作，而有些人……有些人宁愿去死。我们每个人都要选择。

Season 4 Episode 2 The Old Man and the Seat ¶

English ¶

Hologram of Rick: There he is. There's our guy. Congrats, Tony. Have fun with your stupid toilet that you get to use all by yourself now. Enjoy using it all by yourself while you sit there and think about how nobody wants to be around you and how you ruined it for yourself because you're a huge piece of shit Look at you sitting there, King Shit on his throne of loneliness. Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me screaming every time you take a shit All hail his majesty, the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos. Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy. May his reign last 1,000 years.

简体中文 ¶

瑞克的全息影像：他在那里，我们的主角。恭喜你，东尼，希望你好好享受你独占的蠢马桶。你可以坐在那里思考为什么没人愿意陪在你身边。你把一切搞砸了，因为你是个大烂人。看看你，大便之王坐在孤独的王位上。你每次用这个马桶时，都会有成千上万的我对着你叫器。吾王万岁。你是全宇宙最悲哀的垃圾。祝大便之王长命百岁。希望他能统治一千年。

Season 4 Episode 6 Never Ricking Morty ¶

English ¶

Morty: So what do you think?

Rick: Wow. Where did you get this thing?

Morty: The citadel of Ricks gift shop. Do you really like it? I didn't think you'd even care.

Rick: What? Morty. No. I love it. You did the most important thing. You... you bought something.

Morty: What?

Rick: You bought something. With money. God. I love money so much, Morty.

Morty: Are you being sarcastic?

Rick: Merchandise, Morty. Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store... an actual honest to God store... And you bought something. You didn't ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You... you just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said "yes, daddy, please." And I'm... I'm so proud of you. I only wish you could've bought more. I... I love buying things so much, Morty.

Morty: Rick, are... are you... Do you need to go to the hospital?

Rick: I love you, Morty. Give grandpa a kiss. Give... give... gimme... Give grandpa a kiss. Lips if you want. What... whatever you're comfortable with. Some cultures do that.

Rick: That was sweet. Thank you. I... I love you. You're my little buddy.

……

Rick: Hey, what the fuck, Morty? The train you got me just completely derailed itself. There's blood all over the windows on it.

Morty: Oh, man, I'm sorry, Rick. I guess I'll return it.

Rick: Return... Are you insane? Did you hear nothing I said? Buy another one, Morty. Consume, Morty. Nobody's out there shopping with this fucking virus. Where's your fucking wallet?!

简体中文 ¶

莫蒂：你觉得怎样？

瑞克：天啊。这是哪里买的？

莫蒂：瑞克大本营礼品店。你是真的喜欢吗？我还以为你不会有兴趣呢。

瑞克：什么？莫蒂，我很喜欢。你做了最重要的事，你买了东西。

莫蒂：什么？

瑞克：你花钱买了东西。天啊，我好爱钱，莫蒂。

莫蒂：你是在反串吗？

瑞克：商品，莫蒂。你人生唯一的意义就是购买和消费商品。你做到了。你进到了店里……真正的店里…… 你买了东西。你没有问问题或提出道德质疑。你直接对着资本主义的血盆大口，说道：“好的，老爹”。我非常以你为荣。我只希望你能买更多东西。我好喜欢买东西，莫蒂。

莫蒂：瑞克，你……你需要去医院吗？

瑞克：我爱你，莫蒂，来亲一下外公。亲一下外公。想亲嘴也可以。你可以接受就好，有些文化会这样。

瑞克：真棒，谢谢你。我爱你，你是我的乖孙。

……

瑞克：搞什么，莫蒂？你送我的火车自己脱轨了，窗户上还都是血。

莫蒂：天啊，真抱歉，瑞克。我会拿去退货的。

瑞克：退货？你疯了吗？你都没在听我讲话吗？再买一个，莫蒂！消费，莫蒂！被这他妈病毒害得现在都没人购物了。你他妈的钱包在哪？

Season 4 Episode 8 The Vat of Acid Episode ¶

English ¶

Morty: Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun. Y'know I-I-I definitely sowed those oats. But I think you invented a little lesson for me along the way. Living without consequences is great, but then I started wondering... what am I living for? What am I building? If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. And then it hit me. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences, y'know? You feel me?

简体中文 ¶

莫蒂：还蛮好玩的，瑞克，真的很好玩。我已经好好放纵过了。但是你好像无意间让我学到了一门教训。不用承担后果虽然很棒，但我开始思考，我活着的意义是什么? 我在创造什么？我如果一直回头看，就没办法向前看了。之后我才想通，有前面的后果，我们才会成为现在的自己。不用承担后果就不叫人生了。你懂吗？

Season 7 Episode 4 That's Amorte ¶

English ¶

Morty: You did it, didn’t you. You couldn’t change everyone’s taste, but you could make it… distasteful. It wasn’t the death, was it?

Rick: It was the complexity of life.

Morty: God, what was the point?

Rick: If you’re asking whether this was a story about right and wrong, the answer is, I don’t care.

Morty: So what do we do?

Rick: Cells consume, Morty. Life itself is wrong, and that means death is right. But you can’t side with that. So you live, even when it means eating. And Fred here really did it well.

简体中文 ¶

莫蒂：这就是你的目的，对吗？你没办法改变大家的味蕾，但是能让大家……难以下咽。重点不是死亡对吗？

瑞克：重点是人生的复杂性。

莫蒂：我的天，有什么意义啊？

瑞克：如果你想问，这个故事说的是不是是非对错，我的答案是，我不在乎。

莫蒂：那现在怎么办？

瑞克：细胞需要消耗养分。所以生命本身就是错的，而死亡才是对的。但不要认同这样的观点。活下去，即便只有不停吃才能活下去。弗莱德的一生就活得很精彩。

Season 7 Episode 10 Fear No Mort ¶

English ¶

Morty: So, what are you? Like, the Hole? The Hole's promoter? The Hole's intern?

Fear Hole salesman: Is there a hole here?

Morty: Right. I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole, or that there is a hole. What difference would it make?

Fear Hole salesman: Hmm. You are hard to scare.

Morty: And Rick isn't, right? The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?

Fear Hole salesman: Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. I doubt your grandpa has more fear than the average asshole in a Denny's.

Fear Hole salesman: If anything, he seems pretty brave. He's certainly not afraid to die. Maybe that makes his fear extra-delicious.

Morty: So, what, he's scared of love?

Fear Hole salesman: Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You learn that in your 20s. It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be terrified of happiness.

Morty: Dumb.

Fear Hole salesman: You're dumb. That's why you're not scared to be happy. The smarter you are, the more you know. Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever. Let's say you meet the love of your life. Well, it's still gonna end. It's inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease, or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. Whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they're incompatible, or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things that need to be said, to that person, that night. The point is, happiness always ends. Best-case scenario. Think about this. Best case is that you die at the same time. Yikes.

Morty: Can't the Hole just let me go, then? Sounds like I don't matter.

Fear Hole salesman: You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry. Rick will die before accepting happiness. After that, we'll chase you with some clowns or some dumb shit like that. But Grandpa... Yummy, yummy. Grandpa's gonna die. Just like Diane.

……

Rick: $8 for a side of bacon?

Morty: Are you fucking kidding me?

Rick: It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty. If capitalism collapses...

Morty: Are we done here?

Rick: I don't know. Aren't you a little afraid at this point of the Hole itself?

Morty: What?

Rick: I swear to God, if we're still climbing out of this fucking hole two seasons from now...

Morty: Maybe that was it.

Rick: What?

Morty: Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty. You know?

Rick: Right. I... I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point. Okay. Thank you, Hole.

Morty: Thank you, Hole. We... We no longer need to know if we're in you. So, bye.

Rick: Are you afraid we're still in it?

Morty: I mean, I hope we're not, but if we are...

Rick: We'll find out eventually.

Morty: Which no longer scares me.

Rick: Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk.

♪ "Move on," they say ♪

♪ You'll feel better with time ♪

♪ But time alone can't heal this heart of mine ♪

♪ You can't go back ♪

♪ That's the only rule ♪

♪ But rules were meant to break when it comes to you ♪

♪ I saw time and time ♪

♪ Slip by when I withdrew ♪

♪ I wandered far and wide without you ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ So, I bury my dead ♪

♪ And I try to start again ♪

♪ But it'll never be the same as it was back then ♪

♪ I've seen time and time ♪

♪ Slip by, but I'll make do ♪

♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪

Morty: Oh, my God! I've turned into my dad.

Morty: Oh, maybe there's no way out. Maybe we were born here.

Rick: Come on. We're gonna get through this.

Morty: I'm staying here.

Rick: No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you.

Morty: What... What did you say?

Rick: I said I'm not leaving you in here. Come on. You're irreplaceable... irreplaceable... irreplaceable... irreplaceable...

Rick: What?

Morty: Oh, my God. I... I know what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life. I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole, you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me. You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me. You're not even in the Hole, are you?

Hole Rick: Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty. Your fear of relying on Rick has been delicious.

Morty: Dear God!

Rick: Morty, how was it? Was it spiders?

Morty: Oh. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God, no. You... You didn't go in at all?

Rick: No. It's a one-person ride. You can't face two fears at the same time. If my fear was fire and yours was water...

Morty: I get it. It's fine. It really is fine. Huh.

Rick: You do seem a little less burdened.

Morty: Rick, am I irreplaceable?

Rick: I mean, define irreplaceable.

Morty: That's good. Good. I'm back.

简体中文 ¶

莫蒂：你是谁，恐惧洞本人吗？还是洞的发起人？实习生？

恐惧洞推销员：这里有洞吗？

莫蒂：我是不是应该去男厕所，然后很意外地发现里面没洞，或者里面有洞的。又有什么区别呢？

恐惧洞推销员：吓你还真是不容易。

莫蒂：吓瑞克很容易吗？恐惧洞会永不停歇地蚕食他，因为他最大的秘密是他的恐惧比谁都多？

恐惧洞推销员：你这样说也太简化了。你外公心里有多少恐惧，和丹尼餐厅里这些混账没什么两样。

恐惧洞推销员：他不过是更勇敢一些而已。他一点都不怕死。或许正因如此，他的恐惧才格外可口吧。

莫蒂：所以呢？他难道害怕爱情吗？

恐惧洞推销员：蠢货，人人都害怕爱情。等你二十多岁的时候就知道了。害怕幸福的人必定无比强大，这种人万中无一。

莫蒂：太蠢了吧。

恐惧洞推销员：你才蠢。所以你才不会害怕幸福。越是聪明的人就越是明白。幸福是个陷阱，好物都不坚牢。即便你遇到了必生所爱，这段旅途也同样会有终点。这都是宿命：要么是被病痛折磨致死；要么是登山时失足坠亡；要么是二人被彼此缓慢蚕食，直到最后水火不容；要么是某天晚上酒吧里的陌生人，对那个人说了不该说的话。总之，幸福必然会终结，最好的结果，也不过是两人一起死罢了。真悲哀。

莫蒂：恐惧洞能不能单独放我出去？我好像不是很重要。

恐惧洞推销员：你的确不重要。但你走的话，他就会想一起走。不用担心，瑞克宁愿死也不会接受幸福的。等他死后，我们再派几个小丑之类的蠢东西追着你跑。但你外公……你可口的外公要死了。要下去陪戴安了。

……

瑞克：加一份培根要8美元？

莫蒂：你他妈逗我呢？

瑞克：莫蒂，我怕的是背后隐藏着更大的问题，如果资本主义崩溃……

莫蒂：完结了吗？

瑞克：我也不知道。你现在难道不怕恐惧洞吗？

莫蒂：什么？

瑞克：我对天发誓，如果两季之后，我们他妈还没爬出这个洞的话……

莫蒂：或许这就是最终答案。

瑞克：什么？

莫蒂：或许我们应该放下对未知的恐惧。对吧？

瑞克：对。我感觉我们现在已经习惯未知了。好了，谢谢你，洞洞。

莫蒂：谢谢你，洞洞。我们不需要知道我俩是不是在洞里了。拜拜啦！

瑞克：你是不是怕我们还在洞里？

莫蒂：希望已经出来了吧。但如果还在的话……

瑞克：反正迟早会知道的。

莫蒂：我已经不怕这样的场景了。

瑞克：我也一样。行了，我要去灌醉自己了。

♪ 他们让我放手，说时间能抚平伤口 ♪

♪ 但我的这颗心，只靠时间怎能抚平？ ♪

♪ 我回不到过去，这是这时间的定律 ♪

♪ 但如果为了你，我愿打破一切规矩 ♪

♪ 我离群索居，看时间如白驹过隙 ♪

♪ 我漫步苍茫，没有你陪在我身旁 ♪

♪ 没有你陪在我身旁 ♪

♪ 我把过去埋葬入土，准备好重新上路 ♪

♪ 但如今再光彩亮丽，也不比往昔 ♪

♪ 时间如白驹过隙，我会努力活下去 ♪

♪ 因为我不想把人生…… ♪

莫蒂：我的天！我变成我爸了。

莫蒂：可能我们永远也出不去了。可能我们是在洞里出生的。

瑞克：振作点，我们一定能出去。

莫蒂：我准备留在这。

瑞克：不行，我们是瑞克和莫蒂。我不会丢下你不管的。

莫蒂：你说什么？

瑞克：我说我不会丢下你不管的。一起走吧，没有谁能取代你。

瑞克：什么？

莫蒂：我的天啊。我知道自己害怕什么了。我怕你在现实世界永远不会说出这句话。我怕自己跳进洞里，你却懒得跟着我跳进来。怕你站在洞边干看着。从始至终都只有我一个人对吧？你根本就没进洞里是不是？

恐惧洞瑞克：感谢光临恐惧洞，莫蒂。你对自己过分依赖瑞克的恐惧真是可口。

莫蒂：我的天啊！

瑞克：莫蒂！怎么样啊？是有很多蜘蛛吗？

莫蒂：我去。天啊。你……没跳进来吗？

瑞克：没有。一次只能进一个人。没办法同时面对两种恐惧的。如果我怕火你怕水……

莫蒂：我懂了。没关系的。原来真的没关系。

瑞克：你看着好像轻松了许多。

莫蒂：瑞克，有人能取代我吗？

瑞克：先给“取代”下个定义再说。

莫蒂：挺好的。挺好的。我回来了。

Season 8 Episode 1 Summer of All Fears ¶

English ¶

Beth: Honey, you shouldn't have to be a lost middle-aged woman yet. Take it from me, it sucks. And the joy of being 17 is not knowing anything, including how hard it's gonna get.

Summer: Yeah. I guess I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't know how to be your friend.

Beth: You don't have to be. You're my daughter.

简体中文 ¶

贝丝：宝贝，你现在还不必当个迷失的中年女子。相信我，那种感觉很糟。 17岁的好处就是什么都不知道，包括接下来会变得多艰难。

桑美：是啊，我对之前说的话感到很抱歉。但我真不知道要怎么当你的朋友。

贝丝：你不必当我朋友。你是我女儿。

Rick and Morty ¶

Season 1 Episode 2 Lawnmower Dog ¶

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Season 1 Episode 10 Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind ¶

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Season 2 Episode 10 The Wedding Squanchers ¶

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Season 3 Episode 3 Pickle Rick ¶

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Season 4 Episode 2 The Old Man and the Seat ¶

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Season 4 Episode 6 Never Ricking Morty ¶

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Season 4 Episode 8 The Vat of Acid Episode ¶

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Season 7 Episode 4 That's Amorte ¶

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Season 7 Episode 10 Fear No Mort ¶

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Season 8 Episode 1 Summer of All Fears ¶

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